There is no reason as such to post this during the Valentine season. It is pretty odd I know to post about heartbreaks when everyone else in the world is busy celebrating romantic love . Nonetheless,  most people I’m sure have experienced heartbreak.


Stages of a Heartbreak

1)  You hate your existence:

Can you imagine, being beaten by a bully every now and then, knowing that the bully is you? So basically beating yourself? That is exactly what it feels like immediately after a heartbreak. You wish you could run like a bull and smash your head on a red wall. Perhaps, you would want to do a head stand for hours and hours until you manage to die or fall unconscious. All the ways of killing yourself start from harming your head because, how dare you walk around with such brains? You just sit there, thinking, hitting your forehead with a pencil once every two minutes, wishing it was a brick, “What in the world were you thinking? You imbecile!”

2)  The “I don’t know you ” stage:

So the next few weeks, you walk around like you are the coolest person on earth. You don’t pay any attention to the “stranger” you confessed your feelings to because come on, you know what you’re doing, right? Making it a point to keep your ego well pumped. If you’re fortunate enough, you avoid that person as much as you can.

3) The somewhat rebound stage:

It’s not exactly like after break-ups, but the idea is similar. You find someone else attractive and that person reciprocates. Voila! Surprising, isn’t it? You text,  smile after ages,  have fun. However,  you don’t have a heart to feel. You have kept your broken heart delicately inside a tightly wound chest and thrown it into the sea. So this new story goes nowhere further.

4) The self- realisation stage:                                                 

This is the best stage of all. Probably the only stage where your eyes are open. Not to look around but to look inside. You become aware of your shortcomings and your strengths. You finally have clarity in your thinking process after a long time. You realise your worth, how much higher you need to go for your own good and understand that you can live to your fullest potential if you choose to do so.

5) Acceptance:

This stage helps you understand love. Trust me, love is certainly not what you had thought when you confessed, now that you’re at this point. This stage is liberating from your own confined ideas. You finally accept the bitter truth with sanity. Your heart has now survived the bruises and all the pieces are well sewn, consolidated by your belief.


Heartbreaks aren’t bad. They are really good. I’ve tried to make it light-hearted but trust me, it sucks to have your heart broken. You aren’t the same person once you go through all these stages and come out. A different and better version of you comes out. Eventually,  you’ll love this new version of you. Sounds crazy but you might want to thank the person who broke your heart.

Perhaps, the stages didn’t happen to you in the exact same order. Maybe some match or none of them do, at the end of the day, heartbreak is a school to help you evolve. Enduring pain for the best is a tale as old as time. There is copious amounts of love inside you, give it out to the world and smile.


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Photo: By me